Panic attacks have set in. They started about 2 days ago. They come in waves. Things like "what if I have to be at work at 8am and her school bus doesn't come until 8:15?"...I know, ridiculous...but like I said "I've never been a parent before"...so what do I know! I am also panicking about stuff like...how things are going to change. Who am I without my lying in bed all morning on the weekend, eating when and whatever I want, and all my other bad habits I love! These are things I will be giving up, for our little girl, a new routine. A new me! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all, I'm ready for the change! I just never really thought about how to keep a balance, so that I don't completely lose "me" in all of this. Time to take off the tiara and place it on my baby girls little head. (mine's imaginary...I have a real one for her!!)
So, my last few days have been filled with panic attacks, day dreaming about our new life, and getting the house ready! The emotions are all over the place. They go from anxiety, to happy, to bawling like a baby about this new joy that will be in our life, to missing my grandfather. - see, I just started again, tears well up at anything and everything!
Okay...onto other things...this long weekend, Daniel and I went out for our last childless weekend. And we met up with "the old crowd". These are our friends that have stuck together since high school. They were in our wedding 10 years ago, and they continue to stand by us. One helped us with a letter of reference for our adoption and donated aeroplan miles to cover our second ticket to China, another has made us godparents of his children and even named one of them after us (Nathalie Danielle is her name), and the other, has been living away since 1997, this is the first time we have seen him since he left....so it was a great night of reminicing (sp?). Here is a picture of "the old crowd".
My sister in Korea (Angele) called, she will be meeting us in Beijing and staying for 5 nights. She is very excited as she always misses out on everything, being so far from home. This time...she's front and center! Mei Lin's adoption will be official on Angele's 30th birthday. Angele won't be home for Christmas this year, so this is a great birthday/christmas present for her.
Well, I best get back at it....only 4 days to go and lots to do! This time next week, we will have had our little girl for 13 hours already....this is all just so amazing! We're going to China!
Monday, November 13, 2006
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4 comments:
Yup! You certainly are going to China! 2 more sleeps( or whatever! are you sleeping?)LOL
You are going to be great Parents and all these thoughts/feelings your having are normal I think and you will totally forget you ever even thoought/felt them when they place her in your arms. ( Just like childbirth,the pains are history as soon as the mama holds her baby.) See you at the Airport.
I hope! ( I'm working on moving my clients around so I can go.)
I'm sooooo excited for you guys!!!!!!!
*HUGABUGS*
We are so psyched for you guys! First thing I thought about this morning was, OMG, this is the week Nat and Daniel go to China! I know just what you mean when you say your emotions are all over the place. I feel like that now too. All the best. We will be following along and we'll see you at the airport on December 2nd!
xox
You are going to be fine!!! YES, you are going to be parents and all will fall into place one you have Mei Lin in your arms (which is now down to DAYS). What a great last "childless" weekend you had...you have some very special friends!!
I cannot wait....your leaving in 2 more days!!! Ohh I'm so jelouse that I cannot be at the airport to see you arrive!! But I imagine the others will take pictures. Do you have a layover in Saskatchewan??? LOL!!!
HEY...and YOUR GOING TO CHINA in HOURS!!!
If you dont do another post before you leave tomorrow.....HAVE A WONDERFUL JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME!! Safe travels and enjoy the moment when Mei Lin is placed in your arms!!
Too exciting.....!!!
~~HUGS~~
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